The Impact of Stress on Relational Functioning and Happiness
- Types and origins of stress in modern partnered relationships
- Identifying and navigating the mental load
- Neurological underpinnings of stress
- 3-part stress cycle
- Diffuse Physiological Arousal (DPA)
- Limitations of the research and potential risks
Decreasing the Emotional Temperature in the Room
- How to recognize when an individual is flooded
- When to step in, when to step back
- Tools for turning down the temperature:
- Stop Action
- BPM Tracking
- Deflating the Balloon
- Doubling (The Dan Wile)
- Cross Questioning
- Relaxation, Mindfulness, Breathing, and Breaks
- Recovery, repair, and personal responsibility
- Tools for increasing closeness and attunement:
- Psychoeducation
- Acceptance
- The Stress-Reducing Conversation
- Negotiation
- Remembering “We”
- Coregulation
- Creating a Break Plan
Lifestyle Change for Long-Term Relational Happiness
- Helping couples identify the stress they “create”
- The 3-part system for managing stress – individually and together
- Radical Responsibility
- Tools to help couples change their lifestyle:
- Completing the Stress Cycle
- Awareness of Tasks + Redistribution
- North Star Values
- Meaningful Time Together
- The Weekly Meeting
Staying Cool Despite the Heat
- Self-disclosure and boundaries
- Navigate countertransference
- When the problem is bigger than stress levels
- Therapist tools:
- Mindfulness
- Appropriate Self-Disclosure
- Thinking on Your Toes
- De-triangulating


