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Like it or not, confrontation is a necessary part of all therapy. Maybe your client comes into therapy with grand pronouncements: “I’m all in—I'll do the work!” And for a little bit, it seems like they’ll follow through. But when you bring up, even gently, the ways in which they’re undermining their goals, they deny, diffuse, or become defensive, and the work stalls. In this workshop, you’ll discover the six skills that are proven to help clients take accountability without triggering defensiveness. Using video from actual client sessions—including moments of confrontation—we’ll break down the “confrontation cycle,” walking through techniques that move clients forward, instead of causing them to regress or feel attacked. You’ll learn how to:
Prime clients for moments of confrontation
Use confrontation in individual and couples sessions
Recognize and process your own emotional reactions during confrontation of all sorts, including soft, empathetic, and indirect
Help clients confront themselves
What is confrontation and why is it necessary in therapy?
What is involved in skillful confrontation
The 6 types of confrontation
Confrontation challenges the therapist
The confrontation cycle
Symbiotic beliefs and regressive patterns that require skillful confrontation
Preparing a client for a confrontation
How to decide whether a confrontation should be made by the client themselves, by their spouse or by the therapist
Video demonstrations
Risks and Limitations
Ellyn Bader, PhD, is a psychologist, codirector of The Couples Institute in Menlo Park, California, and co-creator of The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy. She’s one of the early founders of couples therapy, as well as a recognized thought leader and trailblazer in relationship therapy. She coauthored the award-winning textbook In Quest of the Mythical Mate and Tell Me No Lies: How to Face the Truth and Build a Loving Marriage with her husband, Dr. Peter Pearson. She’s been featured on Nightline, Good Morning America, and NPR, as well as in O Magazine, Cosmopolitan, and the Wall Street Journal.
Speaker Disclosures:
Financial: Ellyn Bader is the director of The Couples Institute and receives compensation as a consultant. She receives royalties as a published author. Ellyn Bader receives a speaking honorarium and recording royalties from PESI, Inc. She has no relevant financial relationships with ineligible organizations.
Non-financial: Ellyn Bader is a member of the American Psychological Association, the International Transactional Analysis Association, and the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists.
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